I’m sitting here watching the steady breathing of my little one and listening to the laughter in my living room. Today I’ve thought a lot about you. And the fact that this adventure doesn’t seem the same. I get to share this adventure with him. I get to share the adventure with her.
There are a lot of things I’ve wanted to tell you since Friday. Like how I’ve found the perfect nickname for him. Or when I’m putting him to sleep he lets me sing to him and he has the biggest smile on his face. Or how the nursery library books have already been read at least once through. The grand adventure has started and while I love sharing it with the two of them, I always assumed I’d get to share it with you too.
I try to move on. Every day. I tell myself that I need to take another step forward. It hasn’t been easy. I’ll take a step or two and then something happens and I immediately think I need to share it. Somedays it takes my breath away. It’s so often hard to shake this loss.
The laughter in the living room is growing louder. She has so many stories to share of Boston. But, it only makes me miss you more. Makes me miss all of our stories. The stories that should have continued to grow with little one here. *sigh* The what if’s aren’t worth repeating in my head. Just know, he will know who you are. After all, you helped me become who I am today, and that story in itself deserves repeating. xoxo