You surprised me when I heard the knock on the door. I was too busy in the kitchen to care. I thought it was just another person checking in to see how I was. I didn’t hear Jeremy answer. I didn’t hear the dogs go crazy. But, within seconds I felt you. The closeness. The completeness. The rightness. I turned around and there you were, home.

I still can’t believe you’re home. Even for just a short while. Home. We spent the night talking and talking and talking. You told me about the many adventures you’ve had that you haven’t been able to tell me this week. Or the crazy lucid dreams I’ve had thanks to the fevers. Home. It was such an amazing surprise to be welcomed home.

Now, I watch you sleep on the sofa. You’re cuddled with your favorite blanket of mine. My heart wants to put walls to protect me from having to say goodbye but if there is anything I’ve learned these last two months are walls have never protected me. They’ve only given me the illusion that it did. So instead, I’ll spend the next four days with you, in the moment, as adventurous and spontaneous as can be. I will spend the moments creating my forever, dancing like we did when our favorite song came on, creating the thousands of inside jokes to add to our already growing pile and just being happy to spend another second with you.

This, J, has been a welcomed surprise. A surprise that after the week that I’ve had reminds me that forever is composed of nows. xoxo

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