You put this computer in front of me and said, "Surprise me." I'm not a writer and I hope you don't judge what may not make sense. I stared at your computer for a while not knowing what to write. We talk so much what is there left to say? I was going to create a story. But, let's face it, you're the storyteller not me. So, here goes nothing.There is something magical about this. Last night you let your guard down, something you don't do often. I watched you laugh, smile, and dance. Tonight, knowing how my memaw feels you were still willing to show her you weren't a bad person. You respected her and her feelings. My heart was so full. These last two days I've been thinking about us and what the magic is. I think I've figured it out. The magic is you.
I can hear you deny it. But, just for a second, let me paint the picture for you.
You scare me a little. Well, okay, not a little, a ton. How do I begin to tell you why? Or, how? You love with an intensity that excuses mistakes, forgives when unasked, gives when it kills you. You will turn your life upside down if that meant saving someone, loving someone, or healing someone. Your soul is fierce with the storms that have battered your heart, strengthening your body and mind. Such passion can be hard to take in and accept. You talked to memaw about your faith and how you believe God would love. She wouldn't say it, but you softened her heart.
Here I am trying to understand how deeply you love as you lay beside me drifting off to sleep. I didn't ever plan to fall in love again. I wasn't looking for love that night I walked into the karaoke bar with my sister. She was coming of a bad breakup and it was a get out and have fun night for her. And then I saw you. Or rather, I felt you. Since that night we've been almost inseparable.
I've learned so much about you since then. You are afraid of the dark and heights. Yet, you try to conquer those fears because you don't want them controlling your life. You have been hurt so badly in your life by so many people. But, you give your love freely without a return price. There are demons inside you raging war. Yet, to most you are invincible. Your heart is so big, accepting that people change and there is good in the world no matter how bad things may be. Even as you see hatred and anger around. And it's those reasons why I love you.
There is more about you. You're so real in a world that isn't. I think that's why you're so sensitive. You can feel everything in this world: the good, the bad, the ugly. And you try your best to take what is given and turn it good. I know when you look deeply in my eyes I suddenly feel intoxicated by everything that you are. I feel intoxicated by the darkness you hold back with your light. I feel intoxicated by the madness that has made you whole, heartening, intriguing, and genuine. I feel intoxicated by your mind; the very thing that has opened my heart to something different and real.
Your best friend is right: I am truly, madly, and deeply in love with you. Nothing scares me more than that. I want to wade in the waters with you, steering the sails where ever you go. I want to look out at the stars and direct our course together as only two lovers can do. Well, in our case, the way we do. You've fallen asleep and have instructed me to post this when I am done. What will you think when you read this in the morning?
I want to do this with you. Society will probably never understand you but, that is what makes your soul absolutely beautiful. I am honored to be loved by you.
How do people end blogs? And, how long should this be? I found the spell check. I almost coded this page. Sleep well Hop. When you awaken to this know that my heart, in these last few hours as we lay cuddled together, found more reasons to love you.
Good night, moon.