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My darling baby girl, did you enjoy your first birthday? What did you do? Did you have a party? Who did you invite? Was Papa there? Pops? I’m sure your brother was attached to you making sure you enjoyed your day. Kiss him for me. 

I tried to celebrate with you. But, my sweet girl, I failed. Just like I failed to keep you safe. To keep you alive. You were created with such love and adoration. And the greatest love I could give you wasn’t enough to keep you here with me. I wanted today to be perfect for you and I could barely manage to keep my heart from breaking over and over.

I could only write to you today. I wanted you to know what I did today, for you. Seven letters now sit in the box that holds your and your brother’s belongings. Maybe one day I’ll be able to share it with you.

I love you baby. To the moon and back. Happy first birthday. xoxo

Goodnight, sweetheart, well it’s time to go,
Goodnight, sweetheart, well it’s time to go,
I hate to leave you, but I really must say,
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight.