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Like you I’ve found my torture. While you have locked yourself away I have succumbed to keeping myself awake. I thought tonight would have been different because by 7p I could barely stay awake. For the past two days I was on auto pilot almost delirious with the day. 

I’m exhausted. I close my eyes and I see you. I close my eyes and I dream of you. So I don’t close my eyes. I’m being detrimentally sound. A massive headache sits just barely at the nape of my neck. I want to hate you for doing this. But, I want to also hold you and tell you it’ll be ok even when I don’t believe it.

Neither of us can continue this way. You need to breathe. I need to sleep. Even apart our souls have found a kindred spirit. You and me. Yin and Yang. I’ll even let you be LeBron. xoxo


I dream of you each night
My mind can’t erase
Wrapped and entwined
A lovers embrace

Dreams of happiness
Of times that could be
Of laughing and holding
Onto life’s honesty

Dreams of love
Of holding hands
Holding onto magic
Making future plans

Then I’m awakened
To the reality
Of letting you walk
To avoid resenting me

Torturous nights
When will this be over
Stuck in the past
No closer to closure

I should have listened
To the whispering voice
To stay away
To make the right choice

But I’m not that strong
And I cannot stay asleep
For its there that I have you
It’s there I don’t grieve