To You With Love.
I am a bitch. There is no reason to mince words. There is no reason to be nice. You only meant to be honest and help me. Instead, I took offense and I pushed you away. I disagreed but in the wrong way. I was full of myself, of an attitude that shouldn’t have been there. And now, now I can’t seem to find the words to apologize. I’ve tried, many times. I’ve picked up my phone and went to my favorites screen to call you. Instead I would double click my home screen to swipe up. I’ve went to text you, knowing exactly what I wanted to say, but instead I only stare at the screen because I’m so frickin’ stubborn.
So, I got help. Well, not really. You wouldn’t approve of it. Neither would Jeremy but it is a good thing the skies have decided to cease raining because he isn’t home. Without three shots of tequila the probably wouldn’t be penned. You know, the stubborn ass in me likes to get my way far too often.
I am sorry. In case you couldn’t read that let me say it again, I. Am. Sorry. You weren’t being cruel when you said I was focusing on what I don’t have. You were being honest. You weren’t being mean when you said the longer I do this the worse I’ll get. You were just trying to protect me. Like always. You are always trying to protect me and I can never return the favor. I know you meant well. I know that without a shadow of a doubt. I’m jus too stubborn to realize it. To stubborn to want her that I push everyone that wants to help away. Well, I don’t need her for that. I think I fare pretty damn well without her in pushing people away.
I should call you. But, I can’t seem to find my phone. At least you will be proud at me for something. When I start to drink the last two days I’ve hid my phone. I turn the damn thing off so I don’t make a full of myself. Like now probably. But, eh, I needed an outlet where I would be 100% honest with you.
It’s me and you against the world. Remember? Even when I am an absolute bitch. And news flash, I am an absolute bitch like always. I play an amazing front in being this loving and caring person. In reality I’m full of myself. Just in case you haven’t noticed. You probably have. But, nothing like the present to give you the 411 on what a horrible sister I am. Or friend?
It’s been pretty damn boring without you these last couple days. Miss your stupid face best friend. Like a lottle.
PS I realy hope spell check does it’s job because I’m not reading this. xoxo