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I posted something yesterday that really took a lot out of me. Not because of what was said, but because of how important my feelings were that I tried to portray. Did I need some sort of validation on writing it? I don’t know. I just know that I’ve been seriously thinking about my situation. It’s a sticky situation because of the whole married, secretly polyamorous and secretly bi thing. Ya, fun times.

Then, to make things harder, things get all jumbled when a road trip from North Washington to South Washington happens. I wrote this in the wee hours of Sunday morning when I had to say goodbye. Again. xoxo

I Thought I Could Do It

I thought I could do it
When you walked through the door
My heart may have skipped
Love warmed through my core
A coffee in hand
Laughter filling the space
Together again
With a friendly embrace

I thought I could do it
Catching up on the times
Your beautiful eyes
Loving you is my crime
We talked and we laughed
As we went on the road
You were finally here
My heart finally slowed

I thought I could do it
Sitting so close to you
Your smile lighting the world
Could you feel it too?
I touched your arm
Electricity filled the air
Your will so much stronger
I wasn’t playing fair

I thought I could do it
Agreeing to be someone I’m not
We’re miles apart
Your loving arms I’ve not fought
You’re heavy on my heart
Knowing our place
I wish things were different
My life so misplaced

I thought I could do it
Boy was I wrong
Loving you through it
I know not where I belong
I hoped I was stronger
This will never be right
So hidden I go
As my life I rewrite.