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I have a secret. Well, it really isn’t a secret if people know. I wrote a poem on my other blog about a first kiss. This kiss was the start of something amazing and completely out of character but real. Even if I didn’t know it then. Or even if on my other blog I led the reader to believe in something else.

I was on a girl’s weekend with my friends last December and I met someone amazing. We swapped numbers and got to know each other really well. And then something happened. I didn’t plan on falling in love with her. I’m certain she didn’t plan on falling for the girl she met at a bar in the town next to hers. But something happened that night, and during that awful awkward phone call days later. It was pretty clear that whatever was happening was gonna happen and we were falling so deep and fast that we had no control over it.

I don’t usually share this kind of stuff. I’m usually a more private person in regards to very personal stuff (except if you’re my best friend, sorry not sorry). But, this is the only place I feel safe to share it. This is the only place that I can be me, 100% me, no filter, no pretending, no secrets. This is the only place where the swarming thoughts of love and loss can be put down. So, bear with me, okay? xoxo


Another First

I grabbed your hand
Pleading for you to stay
Even if I should’ve let you go
I couldn’t turn you away
The way you looked at me
Eyes asking for permission
I’ve never wanted something more
My heart up in submission
You told me the signals
Were mixed and unreadable
Willing to be just friends
Stating it was feasible
I wanted to kiss you
As sober as I could be
To taste your sweet lips
I wanted you with me

You said I’d kill myself
For doing what I hoped
No strings you said
As our passion evoked
Slow at first to test the waters
Then a cup of my cheek
Brought deeper then expected
Hearts thumping at full peak
Against the wall
We explored the passion
Throwing caution to the wind
Undressing in reckless abandon
As you fondled my breasts
My heart skipped a beat
I couldn’t breathe
Your vixen smile bringing heat
When you went down
Heaven shuddered
Your gentle touch
Excitement discovered
You knew what I wanted
You sent shivers down my back
My breath caught in wonder
My exterior cracked

Silently we pleased each other
With kisses and touch
Our first time with joy
I liked it too much
Throughout the night
We discovered each other
Learning each curve and mark
In adventurous wonder
Kisses on cheeks
On my neck and around
Brushed up against
Your body I’ve found
Slowly and tenderly
You pleased every wanting
As I fell deeper in love
You meeting each longing

Every deliberate action
Every laborious breath
A night of firsts to remember
With our bodies possessed
A one night stand
In the arms of a lover
We shared another first
Polyamorous uncovered

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